【True Courage】
　　An American General, a Russian General and a British General are standing on the deck of a ship watching war exercises. The topic of discussion turns to human courage, and the Russian General boasts,"Russians are the most courageous people on Earth!"
　　Upon which the American challenges him:"Oh YEAH?"
　　The Russian syas,"Sure! Here, Yuri! Jump off the deck (into the freezing Atlantic) and swim around the ship!"
　　Yuri marches off without a word, and does as he is told. The Russian turns around and says:"See, there's an example of courage!"
　　The American has to top this, so he calls up one of his underlings and gives him the order:"Jack, Jump off the main mast into the ocean, and swim around the ship seven times!"
　　Poor Jack goes off without a murmur, and he too does as he is told. The American General says:"Now top that for courage!"
　　So they both turn around to the British General who has been standing around watching these antics silently. They ask him:"What about your people?"
　　So the British guy calls up one of his people and says:"Trevor, jump off the mast and swim under the keel of the ship, will you, old chap?"
　　Trevor stares at his general.
　　"Let me get this right. You want me to jump off the mast."
　　"Yes."
　　"And swim under the keel."
　　"Yes."
　　"You must be daft!"
　　And so saying, Trevor turns around and saunters off. Whereupon the British General turns to the oter two and says,"Now there's an example of TRUE courage!"

【Phases of Education】
　　The dean of Engineering had once walked into a class, and said "Good Morning."
　　The whole class chorused "Good Morning."
　　"Hi, you are freshmen aren't you?" he asked.
　　One student bolder than the others asked him how he knew.
　　"Well," he said."When I say 'Good morning' to a class, if they are freshmen they say "Good Morning" too. If they are sophomores, they quietly fold their papers away, and look at me. A class of juniors will look at me over the top of their papers, and then get back to them. A class of seniors will ignore my greeting, and keep reading the papers. When I say 'Good Morning' to a class of graduate students, they write it down."

【Philosophy in the John】
　　"God is Dead." —Nietzsche
　　"Nietzsche is dead."—God
　　"Therefore, Nietzsche is God."—Plato

　　不知道怎么有广告内容了……泪T^T。

【Poor Ben】
　　Prior to the World Championships in Rome, Ben Johnson was asked whether he would prefer a gold medal or a world record. He said that he would prefer a gold medal because,"no one can ever take it away from me."

…一看见这个题目我就想噗…

　　。

【Chaude and Cold】
　　A patron in a Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water."
　　"But, Monsieur, C stand for chaude-French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."
　　"Wait a minute," roared the patron,"The other tap is also marked C."
　　"Of course," said the manager,"it stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."

【shave】
　　Harry: My big brother shaves every day.
　　Henry: My brother shaves fifty times a day.
　　Harry: Is he crazy?

【接LS，不小心按到ctrl+enter了……】
　　Henry: No, he's a barber.

…

【Cowboy and the Horse】
　　Old west……A bar……All of a sudden, the door opens with a kick, and a cowboy in black enters……Black hat, black foulard, black shirt, black trousers, black boots, black gloves, black belt, and a black pair of guns……
　　Everyone lookls at him with fearful eyes. He approaches the barman, and asks:"Do you have a bucket?"
　　Barman runs inside, finds a wooden bucket, and comes back. The cowboy in black looks to the bucket, and orders:"Now, bring me three bottles of whiskey."
　　Seconds later:"Pour them into the bucket."
　　And, then:"And now, bring this to my horse outside."
　　The frightened and surprised barman does what the cowboy in black tells.
　　He finds a horse, black as night, tied in front of the bar, completely in black harness. It drinks all the whiskey at once.
　　Then the barman returns back inside the bar. The cowboy very carefully looks into the bucket, sees that nothing is left, and asks:"What do I owe for this?"
　　Barman, while calculating the price, asks:"Won't you drink anything?"
　　The cowboy in black replies:"No. I don;t drink and drive."

【Romanians】
　　Q:What did the Romanian people light their houses with before they used candles?
　　A:Electricity.

【Drinking and Driving】
　　I heared the following last night—it's in the category of "a friend of a normally reliable friend" and may be apocryphal, but what the hell……
　　Following a really good party one night, the hosts decided to leave the assorted bottles and dregs until the next morning. As they staggered downstairs next day, they found their young children finishing off all that they could find, and looking the worse for wear.
　　Not knowing what to do, the father suggested taking them out in the car for some fresh air. A traffic policeman, seeing the car going round and round the block for no reason, pulled him over and breathalysed him…and the meter showed positive.
　　While matters were being sorted out, one of the children asked the policeman if he could try the breathalyser…and the meter again showed postive! "Damn!" said the policeman,"another faulty meter!" He then apologized to the driver for stopping him, and drove off without another word…